Like many others, I had to wear dental braces as a teenager. Or rather: I should have worn them. I didn’t.
My visits to the dentist’s office were terrible. I had regularly adjusted my braces according to the instructions, but of course my teeth hadn’t moved. So I put in the braces at the doctor’s, suffered terrible pains because of their tightness – and went back to ignoring them after that.
The result: My teeth looked just the same as before. Because the treatment hadn’t been successful, health insurance refused to cover the cost and my parents had to pay it all.
A few years later my crooked teeth really started bothering me. Comparing myself to others, my teeth weren’t „normal“, not straight, some even stuck out at a weird angle.
I was so embarrassed!
Selfies and videos for social media – which I love to use a lot – became a horror to me. I stoped smiling in pictures, grimaced in a way that my crooked teeth weren’t visible or kept my mouth closed altogether. I knew the perfect angle to look at the camera and now to NOT position myself in pictures.
I was ashamed of my teeth. I toyed with the idea of getting new braces. With brackets, so I wouldn’t be able to take it out. And invisible – it would look quite strange to wear braces at almost 30, right? Fortunately, at that time, I didn’t have the money for this expensive endeavour.
I HAD MY SELF-ESTEEM CAUGHT UP IN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME.
The moment that changed it all for me happened at a bus stop near Würzburg. My then girlfriend (now wife) wanted to take a picture of us to send to her family’s WhatsApp group. No problem – I put on my perfect, toothless fake photo face. But then she asked my to smile. I didn’t have a choice but to tell her about the issue I had with my teeth.
She looked at me and said:
„Sebastian, when you smile, maybe you’re not the most handsome person in the room, but certainly the happiest.“
I was stunned. Touched. And I cried over it several times afterwards. She had cut to the core with this truth. And uncovered my insecurities – the feeling of not being perfect, to not conform with the ideal.
My girlfriend had exposed my crooked THINKING and spoken healing into it: „You are beautiful; I love you just the way you are.“ How liberating!
Today, I don’t care about my crooked teeth and I smile without restraint in most pictures. I tell my story and don’t waste any time thinking that I could be ugly.
From many conversations with people – old and young – I know, that we all struggle with stuff like that.
I’m sure you can name a few things about yourself, that are too big, too small, too skinny or simply ugly. Things that you would like to change about yourself.
I would love for you to see that you are beautiful, just the way you are. You are uniquely you. No matter what the world or the people around you are trying to say: You are wonderful and so special!
Maybe you don’t believe it, but you have a daddy in heaven who loves you with all your rough edges – or even because of them, because they make you who you are. I wish you could accept yourself the very way you are and be thankful for it.
I’m still grateful to my wife that she dared to speak this painful TRUTH at the time. It was hard to admit how much my behaviour had been influenced by my own thinking/assessments and the comparison with other people.
I hope that you will have the courage to look painful truths in the eye so that you can emerge a free person at the other side of this awkward moment.
Don’t be held back by lies that try to keep you small and that oppress you! Unmask the lies that have taken root in your thinking, name them and start living in freedom. It is wonderful and so special!
Should you have a hard time to work through it all, please drop me a text.
I want to help you get rid of negative thoughts about yourself. And don’t think you’re too old, too young or too busy for this, that this wasn’t important! It is just the right time to start living. Your life will change drastically once you enter into this freedom.
Be brave and break through!
Think about this:
💡 What negative thought/assessment about yourself has taken root in your thinking?
💡 How does that restrict/confine you?
💡 What would happen if that thought/assessment would disappear?
💡 What would happen if you start believing the opposite?
Tell me!? 😊